A book by Nathaniel J. Patrick
Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse: Your Roadmap to Reporting, Recovery, and Reclaiming Your Autonomy
If a clergy member exploited you as an adult and you still question whether it was “really abuse,” this book offers clarity, validation, and direction. Learn how to report, recognize spiritual grooming, reduce self-blame, and move forward at your own pace.
You are not alone. Help exists.
What they called an “affair” was actually abuse.
Here's why — and what you can do about it.
If a clergy member exploited you as an adult and you still question whether it was “really abuse,” this book offers clarity, validation, and direction. It explains how spiritual authority and power undermine genuine consent, leaving many adult survivors with confusion, shame, and silence.
Written for adults harmed by pastors, priests, or other spiritual leaders, this trauma-informed guide helps you understand what happened, reduce self-blame, and move forward at your own pace.
Understand why clergy-congregant sexual contact is never consensual, regardless of perceived consent
Recognize the signs of clergy sexual exploitation and the four stages of spiritual grooming
Identify institutional betrayal and DARVO tactics churches use to silence adult survivors
Learn how to report clergy sexual abuse through step-by-step legal and denominational procedures
Use practical tools: complaint templates, safety plans, and trauma-informed communication guides
Begin reclaiming your autonomy through survivor affirmations, clinical terminology, and reflective exercises
Inside the book
A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding, Reporting, and Healing
Legal Rights & Reporting
Step-by-step procedures for filing complaints in both legal and ecclesiastical systems.
Grooming & Manipulation
Learn to recognize the four stages of spiritual grooming and coercive control tactics.
Institutional Accountability
Frameworks for understanding institutional betrayal and demanding systemic change.
Safety Planning
Practical safety plans and documentation strategies to protect yourself and build your case.
Communication Guides
How to talk to family, partners, and support systems about what you have experienced.
Templates & Appendices
Complaint letter templates, resource directories, and checklists ready to use.
Ecclesiastical Systems
Navigate church reporting processes and understand your rights within religious institutions.
Healing Practices
Survivor affirmations, reflective exercises, and a path toward reclaiming your autonomy.
“There is no such thing as ‘consensual sex’ between a clergy member and a congregant. The power imbalance inherent in the pastoral relationship makes true consent impossible.”
From the book
Watch the trailer
Abused by a Clergy Member as an Adult? Your Healing Starts Here.
A clear roadmap for survivors — understand power and consent in abuse, learn your reporting options, and start your recovery today.
Essential reading
Essential Reading for Trauma-Informed Practice
Get Clear, Compassionate Guidance
A practical, trauma-informed guide for adults harmed by clergy. Covers legal rights, grooming dynamics, complaint templates, safety plans, clinical terminology, and reporting procedures.
Add to Your Resource Library“An essential, trauma-informed resource for every survivor.”
Written for adult survivors seeking accountability, healing, and empowerment. Equips readers to report misconduct, protect their well-being, and reclaim their spiritual and personal autonomy.
Who this book is for
Written for Anyone Seeking Truth and Healing
For Survivors
If you have experienced sexual abuse by a pastor or spiritual leader, this guide for adult survivors of clergy abuse provides validation, practical reporting tools, and a clear path toward healing from religious sexual trauma. You are not alone.
For Advocates
Whether you are a counselor, attorney, or trusted friend, this resource equips you with the clergy abuse reporting process, evidence-based frameworks, and trauma-informed language to support those recovering from clergy sexual abuse.
For Faith Leaders
Recognizing the signs of clergy sexual exploitation is the first step to preventing it. This book provides accountability frameworks, institutional guidance, and the moral clarity to address the power imbalance in church settings.
About the Author
Nathaniel J. Patrick
Nathaniel J. Patrick is a pseudonymous author and advocate dedicated to breaking the silence around adult clergy sexual abuse. His work is informed by years of research into clergy sexual abuse of adults, survivor testimonies, and a deep commitment to providing help for adult survivors of religious abuse — a resource that did not exist when it was needed most.
This book was written for the survivor searching for answers about reporting sexual abuse by a pastor, for the advocate who needs trauma-informed language, and for the faith leader who wants to hold clergy accountable for abuse. It is a roadmap for reporting clergy sexual abuse that combines legal clarity with compassionate understanding and mental health recovery guidance.
By publishing under a pseudonym, the author centers the work where it belongs — on the survivors and the systemic truths that must be brought to light.
You Deserve Answers. You Deserve Healing. You Deserve Justice.
A trusted guide for adult survivors — written for recovery, not rhetoric.
This book explains how spiritual authority and power undermine genuine consent — and provides a clear, trauma-informed roadmap for reporting (if and when you choose), healing, and reclaiming your autonomy. Understand what happened, reduce self-blame, and move forward at your own pace.
Available in paperback and eBook on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and more.