Question 1

Was what happened to me really abuse if I'm an adult?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Clergy-congregant sexual contact is never truly consensual because the power imbalance inherent in the pastoral relationship makes genuine consent impossible. Spiritual authority, trust, and the dynamics of pastoral care create a coercive environment regardless of the adult's age.

Question 2

What is spiritual grooming and how do I know if it happened to me?

Accepted Answer

Spiritual grooming is a process by which a clergy member uses their spiritual authority, pastoral relationship, and religious language to manipulate a congregant into a sexual relationship. The four stages include: targeting a vulnerable person, building trust and isolation, desensitisation through boundary violations, and maintaining control through spiritual coercion.

Question 3

How do I report clergy sexual abuse?

Accepted Answer

You have multiple reporting options: (1) Report to law enforcement — clergy sexual misconduct may constitute criminal offences including sexual assault; (2) File an ecclesiastical complaint with the denomination's governing body; (3) Contact a civil attorney about a potential lawsuit; (4) Report to a professional licensing board if the clergy member holds a counselling licence. The book 'Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse' provides step-by-step procedures for each pathway.

Question 4

What is DARVO and how do churches use it to silence survivors?

Accepted Answer

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a manipulation tactic used by abusers and institutions to discredit survivors. Churches may deny the abuse occurred, attack the survivor's credibility, and reframe the abuser as the victim. Recognising DARVO helps survivors understand that institutional resistance is a predictable pattern, not a reflection of the truth of their experience.

Question 5

Is the book available for free?

Accepted Answer

Yes. 'Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse: Your Roadmap to Reporting, Recovery, and Reclaiming Your Autonomy' is available at no cost to Kindle Unlimited subscribers. It is also available as a Kindle eBook and paperback on Amazon, and through other retailers including Kobo, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.

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