Not all therapists understand clergy sexual abuse. Some will minimize it. Some will blame you. Some will push forgiveness before you're ready. Finding the RIGHT therapist is critical to your healing. Here's how to vet therapists to ensure they're equipped to support you.
WHY REGULAR THERAPISTS AREN'T ENOUGH
Clergy sexual abuse has unique dynamics:
A therapist who doesn't understand these may minimize or mishandle your experience.
VETTING QUESTIONS TO ASK
Question 1: "Do you have experience with clergy sexual abuse or religious trauma?" Listen for: "Yes, I've worked with survivors specifically." Red flag: "All abuse is the same." Question 2: "How do you view the power dynamic between clergy and congregants?" Listen for: "It's a fiduciary relationship. Consent isn't possible." Red flag: "Well, they were both adults..." Question 3: "What's your approach to forgiveness?" Listen for: "Forgiveness is optional, not required." Red flag: "You need to forgive to heal." Question 4: "How do you handle situations where a client is considering reporting?" Listen for: "I support whatever decision you make." Red flag: Pressure either direction. Question 5: "Are you familiar with DARVO and institutional betrayal?" Listen for: "Yes, I understand how institutions protect abusers." Red flag: "What's DARVO?"
WHAT TO LOOK FOR
Credentials:
Specializations:
Modalities:
WHERE TO FIND THESE THERAPISTS
IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST ISN'T WORKING
If your therapist minimizes, pushes forgiveness, or doesn't understand power dynamics — you can leave. You don't owe them continued business. Your healing deserves expert support.
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 | Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 | The Hope of Survivors: thehopeofsurvivors.org | Restored Voices Collective: restoredvoicescollective.com | Awake Community: awakecommunity.org You deserve support. Take care. 💙